Adult humor, comics, and funny jokes.



Jizz In My Pants Video ... this is  clever!




 





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I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's-oriented iPod after realizing that "iTouch Kids" is not a good product name.    

   

A new Muslim clothing shop opened here in Lakeland, but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets    

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools    

A friend of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I asked, "How can you tell them apart?" He said, "Her brother has a mustache"    

 

Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on FaceBook. I said "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive!" Next thing I know 4000 Muslims have added me as a friend !!    

 

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk ...  "I hope the  porn channel in my room is disabled."  To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.”         

The red cross knocked at my door asking if I could help towards the floods inPakistan. I said I would love to, but my hose only reaches the bottom of the driveway.

In a local sports bar trivia quiz the other night, I lost by one point. The question was, where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it'sAfrica     

 

Life...Explained - What really happened when the world was created.

National Disturbed People Day - A message to all of the "disturbed" folks.

The Wish - See what happens when the Lord grants a good man a wish as a reward.

 

Exercise Diary - For a gift this year my wife purchased me a week of private lessons at the local health club. Though still in great shape from when I was on the varsity chess team in high school, I decided it was a good idea to go ahead and try it. I called and made reservations with someone named
Tanya, who said she is a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and athletic clothing model...

The History of Woman - One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem."

Monica Lewinksy Joke (Old humor worth re-visiting) - Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released today, countered President Clinton's firm denial saying "I have had enough!

The Old Priest - The old priest lay dying in the hospital. "I would really like to see President Bill and Senator Hillary Clinton before I die" he whispered.

Tea Party - One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge. I was maybe 1 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.

 

See More Jokes, Comics, and Adult Humor at The Grin Room.